Lonley, Vaguely pedophilic swing set seeks the butts of children.
It has always been, and still is, my intention to build a playground in Central Park.
During National Playground Safety Week, I'll celebrate common-sense safety. I'll also celebrate skinned knees and bruised elbows. I'll celebrate so-called 'dangerous' playgrounds - playgrounds with see-saws, zip lines and towering slides.
We gotta do something about this frigging swing set,' he said. 'I'm telling you, it's ninety percent of the problem.
No child wants to fall off a jungle gym or slide. Accidents are an unfortunate fact of life, but to lower every last slide and jungle gym to a height that would only interest a toddler is doing our children a grave disservice.
If Luna Marie is at the park, my child is not happy unless she's on the highest bar of the jungle gym or the tallest branch of a tree or jumping over the biggest, deepest hole.
Our society spends a lot of money on prison bars. For the sake of our kids, let's invest in monkey bars.
Playgrounds are essentially machines to induce Newtonian physics on our own bodies.
It isn't cool to abuse the ability to swing.
We gotta see-saw until we unthaw those Popsicle toes.
Headline?" he asked. "'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said. "'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said. "'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.
'Our Dream Playground' is a new online project planner designed to help you build the playground of your dreams. It's a free resource, brought to you 'KaBOOM!,' offering step-by-step instructions to help you bring play to the kids in your community.
If I have got a swing, I have got a shot.
I thought, 'If I ever get a new football building, I want a slide.' Now I go down it every day.
