If you love helping people, and you love trying to bring comfort and peace to their life at a very, very difficult time, you're going to have to look pretty hard to find a profession that gives you more opportunities than the funeral business.
I've always said I would want to be a funeral director if I wasn't an actor.
I take classes to be a mortician.
If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.
The mortician interviewing the corpses
Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.
If your work is deathwork, one weapon is not enough, just as a plumber would not answer an urgent service call with a single wrench.
That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.
The death industry markets caskets and embalming under the rubric of helping bodies look 'natural,' but our current death customs are as natural as training majestic creatures like bears and elephants to dance in cute little outfits, or erecting replicas of the Eiffel Tower and Venetian canals in the middle of the harsh American desert.
The only known cure for the Presidential virus is embalming fluid.
In the sinews of the dead there is no blood.
