Legal Satire Quotes

I was always like, "I'm going to be the drunk judge who's like, 'Objection!' 'In chambers!' "

If I was a lawyer, I'd be my own best client.

As for his name, well, what attorney wouldn't want to be able put a Judge in a crate every now and then?

It gives a new meaning to the expression, "High Court.

A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted Shoplifter." However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading "I'd Rather Be Stealing!.

I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream.

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit.

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog, whichever was handy. If you stole a dog and were caught, you were punished with twelve rabbit punches, although it was hard to find rabbits big enough or strong enough to punch you.

It is surely only a matter of time before some federal judge finds the Constitution unconstitutional.

Tell me a boat full of lawyers just sank.

With its vastly complicated plot and its immense cast of characters swirling around the case of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce that has been grinding away in the Court of Chancery for decades, 'Bleak House' is, for many readers, Dickens's greatest novel.

I want to do a film like 'Jolly LLB' or something in that space.

For Heaven's sake discard the monstrous wig which makes the English judges look like rats peeping through bunches of oakum.

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

I really believe if you give people a product that couples entertainment with a little bit of education, a soft glove and sense of humor - especially about a subject people have begun to feel very frustrated about, which is the legal system - then you have a formula for success.

I do not know how the affair at Canterbury is generally considered; but I have heard individuals of all parties and all opinions speak of it and never without merriment or indignation. Fifty years hence, the black laws of Connecticut will be a greater source of amusement to the antiquarian, than her famous blue laws.