I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?
I've had an ongoing fantasy about being interviewed on, like, a '60 Minutes'-type show about this really inspiring woman that can do anything with a fake leg. And then the camera pans out, and I'm just holding a mannequin leg.
I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.
I got 'Reign In Blood' for Easter one year - how ironic is that?
I have quite a collection of ironic band T shirts.
Who would I marry? I know, my ego. We'd make the perfect couple.
Real gangster-ass Nerdfighters don't run from nothing... 'cause real gangster-ass Nerdfighters can't run fast.
Oh, that feels good! I don't know who invented ties and then insisted a man was only properly dressed when he wore one, but if I ever meet him, I'll strangle him with his own invention
