Family Confusion Quotes

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

I want to convey that I'm crazy about the Kardashians - but I'm not sure which is which.

If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!

I think of my father and how confused he was by me. He understood my love for theater, and he understood that New York City was the only place that it was happening in America, really, in any live way.

It's funny, you know, growing up, you are always introduced to people as your uncle this or your aunt that or your cousin this. By the time I was in my 20s, I had no idea who I actually was or wasn't related to. It's kind of a running joke in the family.

These are my daughters, I suppose. But where in the world did the children vanish?