I don't react to a tragic happening any more. I took so many bad things as a kid and some people think I don't care about anything. It's just too hard for me to get emotional. I can't cry no more.
My natural response to a stressful situation is to shut down. I do weird things, like, I don't cry, I get really cold.
Everyone has something wrong. And for a while, her heart just sort of flat lined.
What does it mean when your heart's already numb? You're a professional.
I'm self-sufficient. I spend a lot of time on my own and I shut off quite easily. When I communicate, I communicate 900 per cent, then I shut off, which scares people sometimes.
Antidepressants are very good, but it's a clinical cosh, really. Sometimes you have to be knocked out, just to stop; when you're in that state all you want to do is just sleep, and rest your body and your brain.
When you're busy blocking out difficult emotions and feelings, you're not going to feel the good stuff, either.
Most people have the ability to turn their empathy engine back on, but there's such a seductive burn to not being empathetic.
At a certain point your brain stops to rationalize things. At a certain point it gives up, shuts off, shuts down.
Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling. Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again.
For me, 'The Kite Runner' became about a guy who's emotionally shut down because he hasn't confronted his past.
I think for Beecher specifically, Keller was with him when his wife died. Beecher had decided after he first got into prison that he had to shut off everybody. You can't let anybody in and you have to become like them and you have to be threatening and all that.
I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12 and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but also my work as well.
I love what I do so much, and I have a very acute understanding of how I work as a person, so if I'm afraid, I shut down and can't do anything. If I'm overwhelmed, I shut down and can't do anything.
If everything you say gets laughed at...then you become afraid of everyone... and are no longer able to speak... even knowing all that does is bother everyone... Your heart.......shuts down... And your words die.
