Death Industry Quotes

Coffin sales people would like to have a plague every year.

Fur is not luxury: it is an industry of death and suffering.

I take classes to be a mortician.

The mortician interviewing the corpses

Death is a billion-dollar business. They can't even pass a law where it takes seven days to get a gun. Why don't you have to go through the same kind of screening you do to get a driver's license? It's totally insane.

There is always money to kill people. There is never enough money for life affirming ends.

Don't think I'd really want to be a mortician. Wouldn't be getting much back.

You don’t want to ask after the health of anyone, if you’re a funeral director. They think maybe you’re scouting for business.

The death industry markets caskets and embalming under the rubric of helping bodies look 'natural,' but our current death customs are as natural as training majestic creatures like bears and elephants to dance in cute little outfits, or erecting replicas of the Eiffel Tower and Venetian canals in the middle of the harsh American desert.

Funeralese has had its ups and downs. The word 'morticians,' first used in Embalmers Monthly for February, 1895, was barred by the Chicago Tribune in 1932, 'not for lack of sympathy with the ambition of undertakers to be well regarded, but because of it. If they haven't the sense to save themselves from their own lexicographers, we shall not be guilty of abetting them in their folly.

Nowadays, of course, just about our only solvent industry is the merchandising of death, bankrolled by our grandchildren.

I am a mortician who tells you that you don't necessarily need a mortician.

I'm not around real dead people all that often - most people aren't - but when you are, you tend to be very, very respectful and quiet, and people do tend to whisper 'cause you're trying to show massive amounts of respect, but if this is your daily life, you have to figure out a way to go about it and not go insane by the time you reach Friday.

Probably the undertaker thinks less of death than almost any other man. He is so accustomed to it that his mind must involuntarily turn from its horror to a contemplation of how much he makes out of the burial.

I played a funeral convention once. York Casket Company pays well, in case anyone's wondering!

I grew up in a funeral home. Both my parents were morticians.