I chose to go down a very dark place, and I can't change that, but those moments have served as an education for me.
I have been to Heaven, I've been to Hell, I've been possessed by Lucifer. You can't really get much bigger than that.
I've got to wear sunglasses everywhere, all the time, even if its indoors or at night time, to be recognized. That's part of my job. I cannot take off my sunglasses. For me, staying in the United States was so dark because I can't take them off.
Not once more will/I be found with beings/who swallowed the rail of life//And one day I found myself with beings/who swallowed the nail of life/-as soon as I lost my matrix mamma,//and the being twisted under him,/and god poured me back to her/(the motherfucker).
I had to dance topless for two years to make cash to pay my bills and save some money. But it was very enlightening, by the way. I'm talking about light from the gutter.
For the fee of $10,000, anyone could be escorted to a room, handed a loaded gun and offered another human to kill. The concept made me nauseous. But it also felt real, and rang bells with my more cynical side.
My opinion of my whole experience varies from time to time. In broad daylight, and at most seasons I am apt to think the greater part of it a mere dream; but sometimes in the autumn, about two in the morning when winds and animals howl dismally, there comes from inconceivable depths below a damnable suggestions of rhythmical throbbing ... and I feel that the transition of Juan Romero was a terrible one indeed.
