courtroom behavior Quotes

The court finds everyone to be in contempt (including himself :-), and orders everyone sentenced to five years hard labor. (Working on Perl, of course.)

At the end of the table, the secretary was reading the decision in some case, but in such a mournful and monotonous voice, that the condemned man himself would have fallen asleep while listening to it. The judge, no doubt, would have been the first of all to do so, had he not entered into an engrossing conversation while it was going on.

I said something idiotic like, as [William] Shakespeare says, "Action is eloquence," and the judge just frowned at me and gave me a couple weeks in jail.

One lawyer told me that he never drinks water or eats in front of the jury because they can't do either one.

Since I'm the judge, it's a very stupid thing to irritate me!

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

[Alan] Dershowitz has also offered to defend Osama bin Laden in court, saying it would be an act of high patriotism. It's kind of too bad there isn't going to be a trial. Having Dershowitz defend him could be Osama's only shot at not being the least popular person in the courtroom.

Criminal court is where bad people are on their best behavior. It's much more dangerous for lawyers and judges in family court, where good people are at their worst.

It's very important not to lose your temper in a courtroom, or in anything else you're doing.

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Lawyers are always confident before the verdict. It's only after that they share their doubts.

I don't think any prosecutor should walk into a courtroom and think they're going to wow a jury with catchphrases and cliches and that kind of performance.

Lawyers hold that there are two kinds of particularly bad witnesses--a reluctant witness, and a too-willing witness.

The flagrant disregard in the courtroom of elementary standards of proper conduct should not and cannot be tolerated.