I think I have already signed some scrap of paper for every man, woman, and child in the United States. What do they do with all those scraps of paper with my signature on it?
I have a big box of autographs. I took photographs of me and Marlene Dietrich, me and Ida Lupino. I took pictures of Myrna Loy and Joel McCrea in front of the studios. I loved Hollywood. I have 500 autographs and 500 photographs I took.
I love signing autographs. I'll sign anything but veal cutlets. My ballpoint slips on veal cutlets.
I thought it was really funny that half the people I autographed things for said, 'Autograph the back of my phone.' I was like, 'What? Really? Seriously?' They didn't have anything else.
An autograph is actually refreshing because everyone has cameras now and wants a selfie. That's why I carry signed headshots with me, to give out.
When I met Harrison Ford I just kept thinking: "At what point do I break out my Star Wars memorabilia? When is it OK to have him sign something? Will he? And will I look like a total idiot!" The only time I ever got anything from another actor to sign was for my brother or my kids because both of my brothers are die-hard Star Wars fans.
People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they'd have my autograph tattooed. I decided I wouldn't write on people anymore, but I'd give them arms and legs and if they wanted those autographed I'd do that.
