I stay away from caffeine. I've never even tried coffee.
I'm allergic to caffeine. When I have it, my throat gets sore, and I get a rash.
So we have the story of who we are. I'm a man, and I'm a comedian, and I'm a tall man. I have big teeth and all these things, and I like the first two Batman movies, and I don't drink coffee, or whatever it is.
Never trust anyone who doesn't drink coffee.
I never have been a big coffee drinker.
Actually caffeine is too hard on my system. I'm a delicate boy from Plano, Texas.
I can't do coffee, but I can do Dr. Pepper.
If I drink coffee, I have to turn the lights off and lay down. I can't handle it.
I'm not a caffeine person.
I've never had a cup of coffee in my life. I can't even remain in the same room with coffee.
I'm not a coffee person.
I see people having fits because their coffee is too hot or their baked potato is too cold, or some random something is imperfect and somebody can be blamed for it. These people can fly off the handle and nobody says, 'Too much beef will do that to a person.' If it's a vegan: a clear case of alfalfa sprout poisoning.
I'm totally off any caffeine now.
