Animal Threat Quotes

Never wound a snake; kill it.

Last night, we did the Threatdown -- God, it's hard to even talk about this -- and for the first time, I didn't mention bears. It's winter, they're asleep, I didn't think it would be a problem. But today I see this in the Toronto Globe and Mail -- apparently a 700-pound polar bear showed up at a children's hockey game. I've said this before, they're after our kids -- they're tender, juicy, you don't even have to throw away the bones.

I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look. "For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon." "Poor thing," I said. "It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly. "Shut up," Sam said pleasantly.

Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call.

<...> I’ve never believed there is any animal more dangerous than a human being. I never will. It’s the intelligence. It’s the mind that makes it so.

We're not very dangerous animals; we don't have a horn like a rhino or quills like a porcupine.

A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?

When chimps threaten, they open their mouth and show their teeth. It's a little like waving a knife in front of you. It's very primitive, and therefore bizarre.

Man, a polar bear almost grabbed me once.

The wolf dreads the pitfall, the hawk suspects the snare, and the kite the covered hook.

Most of what you see now emphasizes animals being dangerous to humans.

Who but an English professor would threaten to kill a duck a day and hold up a goose as an example?

MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT.

Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.