If a man gets drunk and goes out and breaks his leg so that it must be amputated, God will forgive him if he asks it, but he will have to hop around on one leg all his life.
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."
Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.
I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.
Nora: "How do you feel?" Nick: "Terrible. I must've gone to bed sober.
I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.
March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
