There is no statement so absurd that no philosopher will make it.
I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with a fork.
Nothing is too absurd to be said by some of the philosophers.
Drown thyself? Drown cats and blind puppies.
And pigs may fly. And we may be able to terraform and send surface populations to Mars. And Jesus may come next week anyway, so it doesn't matter one way or the other. All these crazy things run through people's minds.
Sed nescio quo modo nihil tam absurde dici potest quod non dicatur ab aliquo philosphorum. (There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.)
If I've learned anything from social media, it's truly that the most irrelevant people always say the most absurd stuff.
The writing of words can lead to all sorts of absurdities.
