Mallory Ortberg Quotes

For me, as much about being a parent as it is about being a child.

When we choose to be parents, we accept another human being as part of ourselves, and a large part of our emotional selves will stay with that person as long as we live. From that time on, there will be another person on this earth whose orbit around us will affect us as surely as the moon affects the tides, and affect us in some ways more deeply than anyone else can. Our children are extensions of ourselves.

Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wished we'd had.

Husbands, love your wives well! Your children are noticing how you treat her. You are teaching your sons how they should treat women, and you are teaching your daughters what they should expect from men.

In intimate family life, there comes a moment when children, willingly or no, become the judges of their parents.

I am only as good as my children are.

The deep, personal material of the latter half of your life is your children. You can write about your parents when they're gone, but your children are still going to be here, and you're going to want them to come and visit you in the nursing home.

A child's first teacher is its mother.

Well, you know, my wife and I have eight children. We have now 19 grandchildren.

Good mothers and good fathers and good families don't always have great children.

Sometimes the father feels pushed out because of the connection between the mother and the child.

Your sons weren't made to like you. That's what grandchildren are for.

Parents know how to push your buttons because, hey, they sewed them on.

I have four grown children and two tiny grandchildren.

I had the privilege of having two sets of loving grandparents.

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.

I love my kids; I'm very close to all three of them.

Your parents are the parents you know best. Your brother and sister, if you have them, are the brother and sister you know best. They may not be the ones you like the best. They may not be the most interesting, but they are the closest and probably the clearest to you.

I grew up with my grandparents around. I think that's important for a child. If for no other reason than to hear stories about their parents when they were children.

Our children are not going to be just 'our children' - they are going to be other people's husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren.

I've had three of my own children and spent my professional life thinking about children. And yet I still find my relation to my children deeply puzzling.

In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

The idea of feminine authority is so deeply embedded in the human subconscious that even after all these centuries of father-right the young child instinctively regards the mother as the supreme authority. He looks upon the father as equal with himself, equally subject to the woman's rule. Children have to be taught to love, honor, and respect the father, a task usually assumed by the mother.

My older brothers and sisters have kids and families.