Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

I have come to believe that anger and grudges are burning embers in the heart.

when pain has been intertwined with love and closeness, it's very difficult to believe that love and closeness can be experienced without pain.

We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die-for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness]

You promised you would protect her Nico said. He might as well have stabbed me with a rusty dagger.It would've hurt less than reminding me of my promise.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

I think, often, when you are in just a lot of pain, it comes out as anger.

People have pain - they do regrettable things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain.

What makes the pain we feel from shame and jealousy so cutting is that vanity can give us no assistance in bearing them.

I'm sure it's one of the most frustrating aspects of human experience for all of us, that when we tell someone who's hurt us that they've hurt us, they tend to react with anger because they feel guilty, and we know we also get angry when we feel guilty.

I have a lot of self-hatred and a lot of self-anger and a lot of things that I need to let go of.

I can hold on to that, that bitterness and that anger. It won't get me anywhere.

It is your attachment that creates hell.

Pain in the present is experienced as hurt. Pain in the past is remembered as anger. Pain in the future is perceived as anxiety. Unexpressed anger, redirected against yourself and held within, is called guilt. The depletion of energy that occurs when anger is redirected inward creates depression.

Anger is remembered pain, fear is anticipated pain, guilt is self directed pain, depression is depletion of energy. Cure-return to love& joy

Shame weighs a lot more than flesh and bone.

Even without them touching me, I feel dirty about what I do. Alex does even filthier things but says it all washes off with soap. I don’t believe that. I think it all leaves stains. Indelible stains.

Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment.

Guilt was its own prison.

Hoarding one's hurts hurts only the hoarder.

When it's your own fault, things hurt worse than when someone else is to blame.

You use to drive me wild, but lately you get your kicks from just knocking me down, down, down.

Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.

Hatred is the ballast of the rock which lies upon our necks and underfoot.

Shame is the shadow of love.