Alexander Pope Quotes

Why does Samuel Butler say, 'Wise men never say what they think of women'? Wise men never say anything else apparently.

Over the years, my marks on paper have landed me in all sorts of courts and controversies - I have been comprehensively labelled; anti-this and anti-that, anti-social, anti-football, anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-Semitic, anti-science, anti-republican, anti-American, anti-Australian - to recall just an armful of the antis.

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear.

It's easier to sit there and say you don't like feminists because they don't have a sense of humor.

The female characters in 'Peep Show' are not 'strong': they are idiots. As idiotic as the men.

mentally deranged …. A hideous hermaphroditical character .... the blind, bald, crippled, toothless, querulous Adams

[Elizabeth Moon's] antagonists are always evil moustache-twirlers. She could write a book about a golf open and the main rival to the hero would turn out to have clubs made from compressed kittens.

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

Ridicule is also a weapon against forces of evil. Really clever, intelligent ridicule.

One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

[On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. (Benedick, from Much Ado About Nothing)

You told me there wouldn’t be any Rod Serling voice-overs, yet here I am in the middle of a Twilight Zone episode. Oh, and let me guess the title of it, Night of the Terminally Stupid! (Channon)

Satire always benefits when evil and stupidity collide.

Beulah has a husband?' I know. It's a miracle. There can't be more than two people on the planet who'd be willing to sleep with her, and here we are both in the same town.

But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.

Sarah Palin is to women what John Wayne Gacy was to birthday clowns.

Satire is an abuse of wit. It corrects few evils.

A man whose every exertion is bent upon showing up the flaws in his wife's character must be at least partially responsible for some of them.

If society will adopt the rule of nature, and justify no marriage without a supreme affection, the evils of marriage without love will be sufficiently cured. Those who marry without the consent of Nature may securely expect trouble.

If you say to me: "Master, it would seem that you weren't too terribly wise to have written these bits of nonsense and pleasant mockeries," I respond that you are hardly more so in finding amusement in reading them.

Even the God of Calvin never judged anyone as harshly as married couples judge each other.

In an evil hour thou bring'st her home. [You are marrying a shrew.]

Mock mockers after that That would not lift a hand maybe To help good, wise or great To bar that foul storm out, for we Traffic in mockery.

Sometimes I want to go into Saturday Night Live and rewrite some of the sketches because they're really not that good.