Guy Finley Quotes

Self worth cannot be verfied by others

Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core of our being is often unacceptable. As a result, we work diligently to live up to - and sometimes down to - what others have made us out to be, whether or not it is an accurate reflection of who we are.

One thing you have to give up is attaching importance to what people see in you.

Winning or losing an argument, receiving an acceptance or rejection, is no proof of the validity or value of personal identity. One may be wrong, mistaken, or a poor craftsman, or just ignorant - but this is no indication of the true worth of one's total human identity: past, present and future!

Thus her whole identity hangs in the balance of her love life. She is allowed to love herself only if a man finds her worthy of love.

Individuals with a good self esteem can accept or reject the opinions of others, but never depend on them for their sense of worthiness.

Before, I thought I was actually fighting for my own self-worth; that is why I so desperately wanted people to like me. I thought their liking me was a comment on me, but it was a comment on them.

Needing approval is like saying 'your view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself'.

I hate how I don't feel real enough unless people are watching.

The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others' appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

Very early on, you figure out that you put your self-esteem in the hands of strangers. There's a different commodity. There's the Helena Bonham Carter that everyone thinks they know, who really has nothing to do with me. But you just have to let that go.

Do I really need to prove anything to anybody? I don't feel that I have to prove anything. The only thing that I have to prove is to myself, that I have value.

Lots of us when we're children believe 'oh well, if the world knew us as we really are, they'd know what wonderful, clever, brilliant, charming people we really are.'

But I dig myself, and especially if my wife digs me, I dig myself more.

Am I really cool? You're telling me I'm cool? Well, that's good to hear.

I've gone through my whole life caring deeply what people think of me.

I don't have a strong sense of self-worth unless I'm doing something.

Until now, I was insecure and I believed what the people around me said in regarding what I should sing.

Women always want to be what they're not: If you're the pretty girl, you want to be the quirky girl. If you're the smart girl, you want to be the pretty girl.

I am whatever you say I am; if I wasn't, then why would you say I am.

If I don't measure up as an American writer, at least leave me to my delusion.

Half of my anxiety is about whether people are going to like me.

It's pretty easy to get sucked into a vortex of others and what their thoughts are and letting other people's judgments of you make you actually believe them about yourself. And sometimes you just need people to remind you that none of it means anything.

The only place you can really find the confidence and the love for yourself is within you, so that has to be what carries you: not all of these external things.