Walt Dohrn Quotes

Russell Crowe likes to tell jokes, which I can't. I can't remember a joke to save my life. I don't have a brain for it.

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

Adam Sandler is a really funny guy in real life. Separate from all of the movies, that is a funny man.

Stand-up is just me trying to be as funny as possible in the most concentrated hour with me standing on stage with no storyline, no plot line, and no character development.

I do comedy shows. I make fun of myself, first of all.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

The comedian just wants to get a laugh.

A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.

I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be.

I think comedy is the most difficult thing in the world, I really do.

I have a very high respect for professional comedians. What they do astonishes me. You have to be really smart and absorb everything, repackage it, bring it back to the person, and make them laugh at themselves. I can make people laugh during my talks because they didn't come to have me make them laugh. It's added value. So my job is way easier than that of a professional comic.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists.

For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

I didn't really get into comedy until a couple months before I started doing comedy.

I started out in stand-up, so it's very satisfying to make people laugh, but it usually means at your own expense.

You gotta have the balls to go out there and be funny, man.

I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be - hell, Carrot Top. I can't be Carrot Top. I can't.

Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's it.

I remember doing a lot of comedy. I always loved that feeling when you do something on stage and you can feel the vibe of the audience turn, and they start laughing. It's how you know something's not right, and how to fix it, or how to make the moment stronger or funnier.

I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he read it and then took his cigarette lighter and lit the page on...

I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember wanting to be you in grade school!"

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.