Stephen Malkmus Quotes

The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others' appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.

Our sense of identity is in large measure conferred on us by others in the ways they treat or mistreat us, recognize or ignore us, praise us or punish us. Some people make us timid and shy; others elicit our sex appeal and dominance. In some groups we are made leaders, while in others we are reduced to being followers. We come to live up to or down to the expectations others have of us.

No matter what our achievements might be, we think well of ourselves only in rare moments. We need people to bear witness against our inner judge, who keeps book on our shortcomings and transgressions. We need people to convince us that we are not as bad as we think we are.

Other people's belief changes you. We all have insecurity, and uncertainty, and to have that glow cast over you by somebody that you respect, makes a gigantic difference.

We are very much what others think of us. The reception our observations meet with gives us courage to proceed, or damps our efforts.

People told me that I was the best-looking girl in my college. But it was only after I won a beauty pageant in 2002 that I became confident.

Other people started taking me seriously before I took myself seriously.

With acting, I think half of it is just acting confident. We stand on these red carpets and pose in these dresses, but we're all only so confident. It doesn't mean we think we're great looking or anything. It's all a façade.

When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me." That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.

the psychological need to believe that others take you as seriously as you take yourself. There is nothing particularly wrong with it, as psychological needs go, but yet of course we should always remember that a deep need for anything from other people makes us easy pickings.

Pretty That's what I am, I guess. I mean, people have been telling me that's what I am since I was two. Maybe younger. Pretty as a picture. (Who wants to be a cliché?) Pretty as an angel. (Can you see them?) Pretty as a butterfly. (But isn't that really just a glam bug?) Cliché, invisible, or insectlike, I grew up knowing I was pretty and believing everything good about me had to do with how I looked. The mirror was my best friend. Until it started telling me I wasn't really pretty enough.

Other people teach us who we are. Their attitudes to us are the mirror in which we learn to see ourselves, but the mirror is distorted. We are, perhaps, rather dimly aware of the immense power of our social enviornment.

I've always found that beauty and confidence are synonymous. If you feel confident, that's what people see.

Sometimes we become bound by other people's thoughts because we are not sure about ourselves.

We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us.

Only other people can make you feel real.

What other people think of me is not really my major concern in life. What other people think of what I write is another matter.

Many people allow their need for other people's approval to control their lives. They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.

It is thus with most of us; we are what other people say we are. We know ourselves chiefly by hearsay.

Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you and if so, what they're thinking.

Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?

Very idle is all curiosity concerning other people's estimate of us, and all fear of remaining unknown is not less so.

Obviously, the arrogance of my own nature in regards to other people's work would suggest that I think I'm talented.

We never believe we're beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way.

We all need someone to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under . . . The fourth category, the rarest, is the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers.