Daniel Handler Quotes

So Stapes conducted a dinner for just the two of us, then informed me of a dozen small but important mistakes I had made. Setting down a dirty utensil was considered crude, for example. That meant it was perfectly acceptable to lick one's knife clean. In fact, if you didn't want to dirty your napkin it was the only seemly thing to do.

In proceeding to the dining-room, the gentleman gives one arm to the lady he escorts--it is unusual to offer both.

Friendship, love, and piety ought to be handled with a sort of mysterious secrecy; they ought to be spoken of only in the rare moments of perfect confidence, to be mutually understood in silence. Many things are too delicate to be thought; many more, to be spoken.

All confidence placed in another is dangerous if it is not perfect, for on almost all occasions we ought to tell everything or to conceal everything. We have already told too much of our secret, if one single circumstance is to be kept back.

One person can keep a secret, but not two.

There are some secrets we keep because we can't bear to let them out and some because it's better to keep them in.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of keeping too much to myself, but I think it's important to preserve certain things, it leaves something to the imagination.

Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.

People who know other people’s secrets can’t afford to do things that impair their ability to control their mouths.

Some things are private, Ethan. Even for grown-ups.

The less someone knows about me, the better, because my intention is to play a variety of characters.

In love matters; keep your pen from paper.

To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.

Shh! Don't talk with your mouth full.

I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.

In public affairs men are often better pleased that the truth, though known to everybody, should be wrapped up under a decent cover than if it were exposed in open daylight to the eyes of all the world.

I have tales to tell, but I don't tell them. Discretion. Discretion.

The minute more than two people know a secret, it is no longer a secret.

Pry not into the affairs of others, and keep secret that which has been entrusted to you, though sorely tempted by wine and passion.

O fie, miss, you must not kiss and tell.

As far as I know, he never asked where she had been or why she had left and she never told. I guess some stories do not need telling.

Some doors are best left closed.

There were things that I knew that I was going to keep to myself.

I like my clients. All of my clients say, "Peter. You're talented. But, your best virtue is your discretion." They really don't want to be talked about.

I don't have a lot of thrilling anecdotes about my career or personal life. All the stuff that is interesting is private and I wouldn't want people to know.