Deborah Tannen Quotes

There's not many people that I can't relate to and can't share experiences with.

Empathy isn't the same thing as expressing emotions. It's not about sharing your feelings - it can be really uncomfortable if a parent cries or loses strength at the moment her daughter needs it most. The message sent is that you need to be taken care of, not the other way around.

A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain.

I can spend 10 to 15 minutes with someone, and they can tell me what they're going through. I may never have gone through that, but I get it on a really deep level.

Well, I think when we can turn to the person sitting next to us and really see them with kindness and see ourselves reflected back - when there's some dignity and compassion traveling back and forth.

Much unhappiness comes from walking alone. When there are several, it's somewhat different. I must get into the habit of listening to others, for what the others say concerns me, too.

For me, I feel like I relate to a lot of people.

People could empathize with other people who had gone through the same experience as they had.

It's always marvelous to have somebody who, you know, you feel understands and wants to encourage.

There's this stress that is relieved when you realize somebody understands, and that's only going to happen if you feel the person who's writing the book or the people in the TV show aren't holding back.

It's one thing to talk to a vet about something, but when you're talking to a fellow rookie going through the same struggles you are, you kind of understand it - and you grow together like that.

It's good to have somebody else say what you're thinking.

You need someone there that gets what you're going through.

There's something really comforting when you can truly connect with someone and be understood. Isn't that what we all want?

You can't have empathy for somebody that's gone through something you haven't - because, definitionally, you can't. But you can feel for them and have sympathy for them. And that's what this country needs to practice more. It's about realizing that you do come from a different place.

Whatever the reason is, I am happiest when connecting with the human experience. It lets me know that I'm not alone in this world.

The delicate and infirm go for sympathy, not to the well and buoyant, but to those who have suffered like themselves.

I think I'm relatable.

At least I had that, one guy understood me.

I traffic in empathy. I try to be vulnerable with people so they can be vulnerable back. I've always been searching for empathy in other people. It's when I feel most not alone.

Connecting with Canadians isn't about what you say, it's about what you're listening to. It's about what you understand.

It is easier to speak to those who have had similar experiences than to those who are as yet ignorant.

The more sympathy you give, the less you need.

When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it's like giving them emotional oxygen.

I think that no matter how dark a person is, the more you learn about them, the more you understand about their life, the more you can sympathize with them or even root for them.