Leo Rosten Quotes

Make up your mind, Snail! You are half inside your house, And halfway out!

He can't decide whether to leave his visor half open or half closed.

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both.

Life itself is controversy.

Decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity.

How long halt ye between two opinions?

I made up my mind, but I made it up both ways.

The best ideas make you want to say 'yes' and 'no' in the same breath.

Would I change anything? I don't know, that's a double edge sword for me.

Smack in the centre of contradiction is the place to be.

One can't have it both ways and both ways is the only way I want it.

I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.

The world is full of contradiction.

There were mysterious questions, but a mysterious answer was a contradiction in terms.

Nothing is ever simple. What do you do when you discover you like parts of the role you're trying to escape?

The woman that deliberates is lost.

It is in middles that extremes clash, where ambiguity restlessly rules.

I've waffled before. I'll waffle again.

My style says, 'Look at me, don't look at me.'

A sincere diplomat is like dry water or wooden iron.

Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I can give you a definite perhaps.