Doris Lessing Quotes

I get angry at myself for staying in relationships way too long.

It was hard to get away from all of the people that I thought had my best interest at heart, and they really didn't.

We hurt people that love us, love people that hurt us

People don't have any mercy. They tear you limb from limb, in the name of love. Then, when you're dead, when they've killed you by what they made you go through, they say you didn't have any character. They weep big, bitter tears - not for you. For themselves, because they've lost their toy.

I used to take hostages in my relationships and not let people be independent. It always ended in disaster, because you take away people's identity and they end up full of resentment.

There's a certain class of people who will do you in and then remain completely mystified by the depth of your pain.

People don't know. We don't know ourselves so we tell ourselves what we really know is other people. We could say the depth of pain we feel for the lovers who've left us is because we knew them so well.

There's people who think what they need and what they deserve in their lives is a lot worse than what they actually do, so they get themselves involved in things that are needlessly painful: brutal relationships, abusive relationships.

Miserable people love to make other people miserable. I don't hate them, I just feel sorry for them.

You can't love somebody into a state of mental health. A lot of people get into serious relationships thinking they're going to heal someone with their love and attention, but it doesn't usually work out that way.

In my life Why do I give valuable time To people who don't care if I live or die ?

Some young ladies are so starved for male approval that what should be a normal attraction to men is accelerated into an obsessive need for male affirmation. Tragically, these dear ladies allow themselves to be devoured in the arms of men who have neither regard not respect for them as people.

So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.

If you love the wrong people it's still love, isn't it, no matter what kind of love.

The people you love are just weapons that will be used against you.

I feel very sorry for people who are trapped in an abusive relationship and keep making excuses for their abuser.

Exes should never, never go out with or marry other people but should remain celibate to the end of their days in order to provide you with a mental fallback position.

I didn't like most of my boyfriends. I'm a perfect example of somebody who will make it work no matter what. Like, I once had a guy move in with me. He was my least favorite. Nobody who went out with us knew that we were together. I just would not give off the vibe.

Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, 'How can we hide our wounds?' so we don't have to be embarrassed, but 'How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?' When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.

Some people are stuck in tedious things, like their jobs, and they are bored. Other people experience one stressful thing after another.

Some people, they get down in a hole so deep they can't figure out what to hold on to.

I have been heart broken. You can't breathe, your eyes are pouring a thousand tears a second and you can't foresee going on with love because you never want to feel this way again. But then you have to look in the mirror and say 'Shut up, eat some ice cream, be by yourself for a while and think about who you are and who you want to be - then, go out and find someone compatible.' A broken heart feels like the worst thing in the whole world, but it really helps you decide what you want and don't want. You learn a lot from a broken heart.

When you realize someone is trying to hurt you, it hurts less." "Unless you love them.

S and M is only the expression in the bedroom of an oppressive-submissive relation which can happen also in the kitchen or at the factory, can happen between people of any gender. There is obviously something titillating about these relationships, but it isn't the sexual components that makes them ugly, they're uglier elsewhere. Nothing sexual is depraved. Only cruelty is depraved, and that's another matter.

How terrible it was to love people when you could not really share their lives!