Terry Pratchett Quotes

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

I like to think 'The God Delusion' is a humorous book. I think, actually, it's full of laughs. And people who describe it as a polarizing book or as an aggressive book, it's just that very often they haven't read it.

I can't have discussions about it anymore, I just can't. When someone asks me if I've found Jesus, I say, 'Yeah, I saw him at a Nirvana concert a couple of years ago.' It's like, Jesus has got things to do, he's got a ten o'clock. He's not going to fix things for me, I have to fix things for myself, so I try and have a sense of humor about it and nobody finds my humor very amusing. We've just got to lighten up on the savior bit, folks. You know, get off the cross, we need the wood.

We don't really have to make fun of religion - it makes fun of itself.

People are much too solemn about things - I'm all for sticking pins into episcopal behinds.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to have some sort of attitude toward the subject, and they seem to have it. It depends on how much blood you want to draw.

A civilization is destroyed only when its gods are destroyed.

All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.

Nearly every tribe and nearly every human being has gods. Belief in gods is all over the place. It's universal. It squeaks and squoozes from every pore of humanity.

I'm a big fan of George Carlin's.

There's nobody more opposite from John Shaft than a kid who worships a banana as his god.

Shrines! Shrines! Surely you don't believe in the gods. What's your argument? Where's your proof?

When men destroy their old gods they will find new ones to take their place.

If you love god, burn a church.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

Did St. Francis preach to the birds? Whatever for? If he really liked birds he would have done better to preach to the cats.

I could hardly be called a pillar of the [Anglican] Church. I am more in the nature of a buttress, for I support it from the outside.

Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage

Fear first made gods in the world.

Every people have gods to suit their circumstances.

A little irreverence is always important to being a columnist. I try to do that.

I was raised Catholic, but the devil was never with a pitchfork.

Everything is not serious. If you don't like what I'm saying, change the channel - don't look at me, don't buy a ticket. You either get it or you don't, and it's fascinating because it's usually intelligent people with a sense of humor who get it.

At the end of the day, I always maintain you can substitute 'The Book of Mormon' for 'The Bible: The Musical' or 'The Quran: The Musical.'