Linus Torvalds Quotes

Not necessarily, a lot of my songs are firmly tongue in cheek.

If possible, be funny.

You can make fun of everything.

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

I always gravitate toward the humor in something.

I think everybody would admit that we've got a sense of humor.

I tend to do stuff that is in some way tongue in cheek or humorous or has a kind of wry side to it.

I'm tongue in cheek, but very much to the point.

I can see humor in almost anything.

We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.

I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler.

Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for 'That One.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome.

...I know that in your heart you miss all those wonderful moments you spent with my father --watching him gnaw on the furniture, listening to his insane gibbering, and enjoying all those playful blows to the stomach and kicks to the head with which he demonstrated his affection for his wives. --King Urgit

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

I recently attended a pro-drug rally... in my basement.

An old philosopher said to Monsieur Coignard, a Reverend Father: 'You are a pig!' To which Abad Coignard answered: 'You flatter me, sir. But unfortunately, I'm only a man.'

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

I kid because I'm on basic cable.

I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.

Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some speical rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren't allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care, it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it's free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It's like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don't worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck.

Yeah, you're probably right," I admitted and slowly pulled myself out from underneath the covers. "You know, I really wish you'd catch onto the fact that I'm always right.

Many a true word is spoken in jest

Unicorns," I said. "Very dangerous. You go first.