Evelyn Waugh Quotes

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.

Parties are only bad when a fight breaks out, when men fight over women or vice versa. Someone takes a fall, an ambulance comes, and the police arrive. If you can avoid those things, pretty much all behaviour is acceptable.

Conflicts that in Sweden and Japan would be solved by quiet consultations … through the bureaucracy are fought out through formal litigation in the American court system.

In Japan, violence isn't as controversial as it is in the West.

Never stand in the middle of two people having a fight, because you'll always come off worse.

Man does not strive for happiness; only the Englishman does that.

There are few situations in life that cannot be resolved promptly, and to the satisfaction of all concerned, by either suicide, a bag of gold, or thrusting a despised antagonist over a precipice on a dark night

To go to law is for two persons to kindle a fire, at their own cost, to warm others and singe themselves to cinders; and because they cannot agree as to what is truth and equity, they will both agree to unplume themselves that others may be decorated with their feathers.

Shun an angry man for a moment-your enemy forever.

How can we be enemies when there is so much that pulls us together? But in general I found that I had to work with each one of my foreign colleagues in a way that was consistent with their system. Some are democracies, some are not.

Deadline for Iraqi withdrawal is legislating defeat.

Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose.

For a moment he thought she was about to hit him, which would have been bad, or even start crying, which would have been much, much worse.

Quarrels in France strengthen a love affair, in America they end it.

When people are out of their comfort zone, it’s more dramatic, more prone to have more entertaining experiences, get into fights. That’s the dramatic instinct, to move people out of what they know and make them deal with it.

And try to remember what we discussed, Susannah. A mediator is someone who helps others resolve conflicts. Not someone who, er, kicks them in the face.

. . . it is difficult for Europeans to appreciate the sentiment. Other nations kill animals by wholesale and kill one another; they exist in a sea of blood. A European said that the reason why in India animals were not killed was because it was supposed that they contained the spirits of ancestors. This reason was worthy of a savage nation who are not many steps from the brute.

Ever argue with a female and, in the middle of the argument, you no longer feel safe because of her actions? She may start pacing back and forth real fast, breathing out her nose. You know what my girl do? When she get mad, she start talking in the third person. That's scary as hell because that's her way of telling me that from this point on, she is not responsible for none of her actions.

Perhaps wars weren't won anymore. Maybe they went on forever. Maybe it was another Hundred Years' War.

All our problems, all our disputes, all our disagreements can be resolved quickly to mutual satisfaction if we address the question.

So natural to man is the practice of violence that our indulgence allows the slightest provocation, the most disputable right, as a sufficient ground of national hostility.

Let sleeping dogs lie — who wants to rouse 'em?

Strife, only a slight thing when she first rears her head but her head soon hits the sky as she strides across the earth.

[Martin] Scorsese probably could have directed Schindler's List and [Steven] Spielberg probably could have directed Goodfellas. But it's as much to do with the difference in culture as it is with race.