Terry Pratchett Quotes

I'm that grumpy old guy yelling at all those pesky little Grizzly Bear fans to get offa my lawn.

The usual fortune of complaint is to excite contempt more than pity.

Why did you wake me? A serving lady could piss out that fire.

Refs need to get over themselves.

Grace is like a lake of drinkable water right outside your door. But you stay inside and die of thirst.

Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!

I've seen UFOs, and Loch Ness - I've been to Loch Ness a few times looking for Nessie, and that's also a beautiful place to be.

And Max, I've put some scraps in a bowl for your dog," Mom said. "It's on the floor, by the back door." The flock and I went still. Uh-oh, I thought. Total stomped up to me, his glare accusing. "A bowl on the floor!" he seethed. "Why don't you just chain me to a stake in the yard and throw me a bone!

I do get a little pissed at people who write me and want me to do things, and spell my name wrong.

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said. "Don't call my boobs funny," I answered.

The problem with people who say monsters don't really exist is that they're almost never saying it to the monsters." —Alice Healy

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

The great fact in life, the always possible escape from dullness, was the lake. The sun rose out of it, the day began there; it was like an open door that nobody could shut. The land and all its dreariness could never close in on you. You had only to look at the lake, and you knew you would soon be free.

Be careful, boy. In some tales, the hero gets eaten by the monster after all .

I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.

I've always been into monsters.

I may not be sure if monsters exist, but I’d rather live my life in doubt than be persuaded by a real experience of one.

I feel like my imagination was crafted by Tolkien. He seemed to tap into that childhood intrigue of secret doors and hidden worlds.

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes, Some of them are things people are scared of. Some of them are things that look like things people used to be scared of a long time ago. Sometimes monsters are things people should be scared of, but they aren't.

We no longer believe in fairy tales. But we will learn to believe in monsters

Many of us in our praying are like nasty little boys who ring front door bells and run away before anyone answers.

Murder had a blood red door on the other side of which was everything unimaginable to everyone.

Go back to The October Palace, which came out in 1994, and there are poems with windows, doors, the rooms of the gorgeous and vanishing palace that is this ordinary world and ordinary life. Jungian archetype would say the house is a figure for the experienced, experiencing self.

I pissed on my diploma, smell the aroma.

Let me explain: there are dragons, and then there are drakons. Drakons are several millennia older than dragons, andmuch larger. They look like giant serpents. Most don't have wings. Most don't breathe fire (though some do). All are poisonous. All are immensely strong, with scales harder than titanium. Their eyes can paralyze you; not the turn-you~to-stone Medusa-type paralysis, buttheoh~my~gods-that~big~snake~is~going~to~eat~me type of paralysis, which is just as bad.