Bennett Cerf Quotes

Memory is the first casualty of middle age, if I remember correctly.

You know you're getting older when - well, first off, when you read almost any story that begins 'You know you're getting older when.' But you also know it when you not only never heard of the musical guest on a given 'Saturday Night Live' but never heard of the host, either.

My first recognition of age setting in was exactly on my 36th birthday. I have no idea why, on this day of all days, I looked in the mirror and realized my face no longer looked young.

I have everything I had 20 years ago, only it's all a little lower.

I can't believe I've turned into a typical old man. I can't believe it. I was young just minutes ago.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

I was 24 yesterday. Suddenly you wake up, and you get on the elevator, and there's a mirror there. And you look in the mirror, and you're an old man.

You get older and you see yourself and say, 'God, he's old, who's that?'

One of the shocks of a 50th birthday is realizing the fundamental fact that your youth is irrevocably over.

I've told everyone that I grew old on 'Hee Haw,' but I could've grown old without it.

I still forget, sometimes, that I am no longer 12 years old.

A lot of people have dementia, which is great, because then they don't recognize me.

Emily and I have now reached the time in life when not only do we lie about our ages, we forget what we've said they are.

A man growing old becomes a child again.

I'm a lot older than I was when I was 30, which is kind of hard to believe.

The thing is, when you see your old friends, you come face to face with yourself. I run into someone I've known for 40 or 50 years, and they're old. And I suddenly realize I'm old. It comes as an enormous shock to me.

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

For most of my 20s, I looked like I was 12. Now that I'm pushing 40, I guess I look closer to... 15? It must be my macrobiotic diet. Oh, wait, except that I don't have one of those.

Middle -age is the time of life, that a man first notices - in his wife.

Middle age went by while I was mourning for my lost youth.

When I'm 60, maybe, I'll look at my pile of papers and wonder, What really happened that year?

When I see friends from school I think they've all grown old and I've stayed the same.

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

I've said it once and I'll say it a a hundred times, I'm forty-four years old.

A man is never completely alone in this world. At the worst, he has the company of a boy, a youth, and by and by a grown man - the one he used to be.