Terry Pratchett Quotes

I can't stand the gossip of celebrities' lives, all the time! Every minute!

I never feel that far away from the tabloids.

The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too.

But it kills me, this fascination with celebrities' personal lives.

I got asked by a freelance journalist to jump in front of Princess Diana's funeral. How pathetic is that? That would have been the stupidest thing on the planet.

It is the gossip columnist's business to write about what is none of his business.

Because when you go out, and you have fun, basically you're performing for these tabloid outlets and the paparazzi. And when you perform and create this story, they're chuffed - they get excited, they capture it, and they put it out.

I really hate people who feel their private lives should be paraded, and there are magazines like 'Hello!,' 'OK' and 'Bella' totally devoted to this.

That is the biggest form of bullying ever, the paparazzi. Printing lies, making accusations, it's just bullying.

What stars do in their off-hours is a never-ending source of diddling curiosity to the tabloid sensibility.

When I first started playing, the only time you knew you would get photographed was if the paparazzi were outside a smart restaurant in town.

You could say that the paparazzi and the tabloids are sort of the 'assault weapons' of the First Amendment. They're ugly, a lot of people don't like them, but they're protected by the First Amendment - just as 'assault weapons' are protected by the Second Amendment.

Once I saw Paris Hilton leaving a restaurant in Hollywood and the paparazzi cameras were all over her. It looked so unpleasant. It wasn't because she didn't look sensational - she was that perfect combination of fashionable and slutty - it was because the paparazzi guys were shouting these insanely rude and intrusive questions at her. Like, asking her who she was sleeping with and stuff. I was kind of interested in the answer, so I was glad they asked, but it was still gross.

When I'm surfing, I'm sure not thinking about the paparazzi. I guess if they start getting on floaties and coming out there in the water, then I might be a little upset.

My mother emails me stuff about when she finds a paparazzi photo and they're like, his hair is out of control.

I've walked with very famous people down red carpets over to the crowd of thousands of people, and you'll reach out to shake their hand and they've got a camera in their hand. And they don't even get their hand out, because they're recording the whole time.

Being in the public eye, you're always worried about what angle people are going to take pictures of you at. I don't really care anymore.

Sadly, Princess Diana and I were just about the first divorced women to come under the global press's microscope. But I have a feeling it's a full and active club now.

I can't just wear whatever when I go out because somebody might want to take a picture. People are, like, taking pictures of me in my car when I'm driving. It's crazy. I kind of hate it sometimes.

What does this Heidi Parker look like pregnant? What does she look like first thing in the morning? Or bending over? What do any of these bloody 'journalists' look like that makes them find the normal appearance of celebrities so offensive?

What happens is that every August photographers camp out in Hyannis Port. So anytime I go down to the beach, or go to the pier or whatever, there's no avoiding them.

You won't see me on TMZ shaving my hair and yelling at the camera guy.

You never really see me, unless its accidental, in the tabloids or any of those magazines.

I don't know what fun newspapers and magazines derive from interfering in people's private lives.

As someone who has never been in a gossip magazine, I do not deserve the contempt of the term 'celebrity.'