Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

In the past, I've been reluctant to share any bits of truth about myself or to really let people in on my reality. So I have said some things to throw people off the scent of what's really going on in my life. So I have sort of aided the media in printing these misconceptions, which I regret.

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.

I think, as human beings, we try to hide our flaws and try to present this perfect person, this person we wish we were, to our spouse when that causes so many troubles.

We keep secrets from people that we love because we're afraid of our own truth. I think sometimes we're afraid to hurt people, because you never know. I think we're afraid of what is, and what can't be.

All art is an intensely vulnerable gesture, and it is made with no small amounts of risk, and fear. So, I have plenty of sympathy for self-defense mechanisms, especially among artists.

I'm no different to anyone else; I want people to like me. I just don't particularly want them to understand me.

I was a very defensive kid 'cause I was really sensitive underneath and didn't want people to know. So I came off as very tough and very angry.

It seems, by today's standards, that it's better to seek approval than to tell the truth. It's better to utter sweet nothings than to boldly say something of substance.

When everyone thinks they know you, it's hard not to be guarded.

I am assuming my father learned at an early age that there is nothing more dangerous than showing your true self. I think a lot of us learn that, and it actually may be true.

Lies are essential to humanity. They are perhaps as important as the pursuit of pleasure and moreover are dictated by that pursuit.

People are always afraid of the truth.

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

If you're not going to tell something if you're not going to expose something it's real easy to go in and photograph from behind the camera and not expose any of your weaknesses.

Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself

An awful lot of actors shy away from the uglier aspects of the human condition. They want to be liked, which is a cop-out. You've got to go for it.

When writing songs, especially if they're kinda semi-true to you, a lot of people hide behind whatever their idea of themselves is in the record, and every now and then, you might make a song that exposes something a little too much about you, and there's a part that doesn't want yourself to be exposed.

People choose to shut themselves off and build a load of defense mechanisms and not let anybody in because it's easier that way. You don't get hurt, and there's less risk involved if you build this hard shell.

Hiding behind a tougher outer image as a teenager feels cooler and safer compared to admitting, perhaps, that you're the very opposite.

You hide your instinctive self and instead create a social self with lies. That's how people are able to get along with each other. What's scary is when you strip all the lies away to get at the essential you. What if it's pure evil? You don't want to face that. So lies aren't all bad - we need them to live.

When you cut pieces out of the truth to avoid looking like a fool you end up looking like a moron instead.

The intention of never deceiving often exposes us to deception.

So from then on, he looked at all his choices and said, What would a good person do, and then did it. But he has now learned something very important about human nature. If you spend your whole life pretending to be good, then you are indistinguishable from a good person. Relentless hypocrisy eventually becomes the truth.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who want to be desired, and people who want to be desired so much that they pretend they don't.

Psychologically speaking, what is true requires no protection, and never becomes negative when challenged. On the other hand, what is false almost never stops trying to protect itself, which it does by finding fault with whatever or whoever challenges the false image behind which it always hides.