Stephanie Coontz Quotes

Every relationship you have, you're learning and growing and taking something from that.

I'm a typical middle child. I'm the mediator. The one that makes everything OK, puts their own needs aside to make sure everybody's happy. It's hard to change your nature, even with years and years of therapy.

All relationships are a learning experience, even ones you continue to be in. If you don't see them as that, then that's a problem.

I'm just learning who I am and how relationships work and how to make them function. No different from anyone else.

I had some problems with fidelity in my life but pretty much got along with everybody.

Anyone who has been through failed relationships - even people in successful relationships - understand that you gain perspective about what is important to you.

I don't know how you can understand other people or yourself if you haven't read a lot of books. I just don't think you're equipped to deal with the demands and decisions of life, particularly in your dealings with other people.

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

I've had to relearn how I work with people so that if and when I do avoid different things I don't send any messages in doing so.

I'm a private person by nature. I live in my brain half the time, not the world, and I'm not a natural negotiator. But I've learned to negotiate.

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of evry part of your life.

My mom always said fighting with me as a kid was like going to court. I'm trying to realize that being right is not the most important thing.

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're married you have to cut through that.

We're not teaching our students the importance of relationships with other people: how you work with them, what the relational pathology consists of, how you examine your own conscience, how you examine the inner world, how you examine your dreams.

At the end of the program, I tried to talk to the kids a little bit about life skills.

As with real reading, the ability to comprehend subtlety and complexity comes only with time and a lot of experience. If you don't adequately acquire those skills, moving out into the real world of real people can actually become quite scary.

I think relationships are really hard. Each one gives you lessons that you need.

Remember that no relationship is a total waste of time. You can always learn something about yourself.

I have only got down on to paper, really, three types of people: the person I think I am, the people who irritate me, and the people I'd like to be.

I wasn't smart enough to read relationship books when I was coming up. I learned everything the hard way.

A lot of men are very possessive and they want to control you. But as you grow older, you attract people who are on your wavelength and who understand who you are.

I'm not good at confrontation. I know my strengths. I like company. And I am not a great arguer... I do find it much easier talking to people I like about things we both like.

Effective listening is something that can absolutely be learned and mastered. Even if you find attentive listening difficult and, in certain situations, boring or unpleasant, that doesn't mean you can't do it. You just have to know what to work on.

Your family is unavoidable. You cannot escape them or trade them in for another family. You also can't change them... but you can change your response to them.

I was the middle of five children, and we were five very opinionated siblings. That probably pushed me to learn to speak up for myself.