Justin Timberlake Quotes

People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.

'Stand-Up Planet' was Anthony Bourdain-meets-stand-up comedy.

The thing that stand-up does for you is that it toughens you up a bit as far as the business goes. It's hard. If a joke doesn't get a laugh, that's instant rejection. And that's mostly what this business is most of the time: a lot of rejection.

I love Brody Stevens. He's one of my favorite stand-ups.

I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.

I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, "Here's what I would say. Here's what I would do if I got up there." It drives me crazy.

I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

Everything I do is intended to make people laugh and think. I just think something is funny, it's not hurting anybody, not stabbing anybody, not shooting anybody, not making anybody watch me perform. There are thousands of comedians, don't come see me because it's not like I hide it.

Dana Carvey is hilarious. He's a really, really funny, talented guy. You know, I can't think of anything I've ever done that I regret doing, and I certainly don't regret doing Master Of Disguise, because I got to hang around Dana.

For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

I don't mind being accused of being a bad comedian and I don't even mind being accused of being a bad talk-show host, but I never want to be accused of being an arrogant, pompous showbiz asshole.

I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.

There's a very fine line between political comedian and activist, and I don't really think I fall over into the activist category.

I used to think of myself as a comedian. I've always admired comedians. Their minds, the way in which they se the world is so striking, the way they juxtapose things, the way they can see humor in people. There's a liberation in that.

I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

I think politicians and comedians have a lot in common. One is a group of approval-seeking narcissists who will say and do anything to be liked... and comedians are always talking about politics.

In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.

Most comedians come from a dark past and have a lot of sadness.

Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.

I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

You get to a certain point, especially if you're a comedian, where people think certain things. It's like, I don't take the time to explain it to people, it's just part of what I do.

I think Eddie Izzard is one of the brightest minds of our generation. I don't see him as a comedian as much as I see him as a philosopher. I hope I get to work with him on everything until I die, because I think he has a great mind and is a very talented actor.

I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he read it and then took his cigarette lighter and lit the page on...