Mallory Ortberg Quotes

Trying to learn to be a good man is like learning to play tennis against a wall. You are only a good man - a competent, capable, interesting and lovable man - when you're doing it for, or with, other people.

We need to teach our children empathy and care and love and communication and social responsibility in preparation for adulthood.

I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do like her, then you're supposed to like her face, and if you like her face, you ought to be careful about doing crumby stuff to it, like squirting water all over it. It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.

My dad taught me true words you have to use in every relationship. Yes, baby.

The beauty of social awareness is that a few simple adjustments to what you say can vastly improve your relationships with other people.

It comes down to the way you treat people. When you treat people with dignity and respect all the time, you can work through anything.

I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in.

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

Women want honesty but sometimes get upset if you are honest, so you need to know when to be honest.

If you don't respect me you're not gonna get that respect back.

In a relationship you want to treat people the way you want to be treated.

In my mind, as long as I did what was right for me, I was cool. But that's not the way it works. You have to think about other people and take their feelings into account.

Relationships are the hallmark of the mature person.

As in all areas, we can improve how good we are at loving another person.

Education teaches us compassion and kindness, connection to others.

I think that the most important thing we have is our ability communicate and love other humans.

Getting to know people as they are is very, very important.

You don't teach morals and ethics and empathy and kindness in the schools. You teach that at home, and children learn by example.

About love, don't be a silent partner. And be gentle with your anger.

I pride myself on being the nicest person in the room. My grandmother always told me, 'Manners will take you where money won't.' When I walk into a room, I say "hello" to everyone I don't care who the person is or what they do, it's simply being respectful.

I think in general I personally have a tendency to protect other people's feelings, and I've noticed that becomes a major hindrance to communication. It's better to just be honest, even if it's painful.

If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.

You're never rude,' she said, smiling, 'and I think it's good to be touchy sometimes. It means you care.

Being nice should never be perceived as being weak. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of courtesy, manners, grace, a woman's ability to make everyone...feel at home, and it should never be construed as weakness.

You've got to be good to each other ... it really comes back to respect. I was raised in a very Catholic, Italian family and it was all about respect. Don't talk badly about [your partner] the second they walk out the door; really preserve your relationship and be good to each other. Treat it like gold.