James Hillman Quotes

In praising or loving a child, we love and praise not that which is, but that which we hope for.

An educator should think of a child as a gardener thinks of a plant, as something to be made to grow by having the right soil and the right amount of water. If your roses fail to bloom, it does not occur to you to whip them, but you try to find out what has been amiss in your treatment of them. ... The important thing is what the children do, and not what they do not do. And what they do, if it is to have value, must be a spontaneous expression of their own vital energy.

Treat a child as though he already is the person he's capable of becoming.

Mistakes are a natural part of growing up. They're to be expected and made light of. But children bloom like spring flowers under praise. They want so much to be noticed and appreciated, to excel and have that excellence noticed.

But I think that parents who criticise their children too much are in fact better than parents who praise their children too much.

There is more in the education of children than the everlasting iteration of the word "don't!"

If you let a child know that you think he is lazy, sloppy, untruthful, unpleasant, and thoughtless, he'll probably prove you are right. Obviously, it is much better to make him stretch to reach a positive image than stoop to match one at ground level.

The worst thing that can be done to children is to drain their energy while correcting them.

Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement. They need fathers to whom they can look with respect rather than fear. Above all, they need example.

If we spent as much time lifting our children as we do criticizing them, how effectively we could help them to see themselves in a more positive light!

Children need parents who will let them grow up to be themselves, but parents often have personal agendas they try to impose on their children.

Do you light up when your kids are coming in the room or do you become the instant critic?

I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.

For example, parents who talk a lot to their children have kids with better language skills, parents who spank have children who grow up to be violent, parents who are neither too authoritarian or too lenient have children who are well-adjusted, and so on.

Judicious praise is to children what the sun is to flowers.

Affirm people. Affirm your children. Believe in them, not in what you see but in what you don't see - their potential.

The best way to raise a child is to LAY OFF!

Children learn about the nature of the world from their family. They learn about power and about justice, about peace and about compassion within the family. Whether we oppress or liberate our children in our relationships with them will determine whether they grow up to oppress and be oppressed or to liberate and be liberated.

Iknew that all the attributes he was teased for, at age five, were going to work in his favor by thetime he was thirty-five...but I couldn't get him there overnight. You can't fast-forward your child'slife, no matter how much you want to.

Encouraging a child means that one or more of the following critical life messages are coming through, either by word or by action: I believe in you, I trust you, I know you can handle this, You are listened to, You are cared for, You are very important to me

I think marriage is a good thing for children, because it gives them a feeling of security.

By the age of 3, children from wealthier households hear, on average, about 500,000 encouragements and 80,000 discouragements. The ratio is reversed in households on welfare.

The parents have to learn that the child should not be insulted, humiliated, condemned. If you want to help him, love him more. Appreciate what is good in him rather than emphasizing what is bad. Talk about his goodness. Let the whole neighborhood know how nice and beautiful a boy he is. You may be able to shift his energy from the bad side to the good side, from the dark side to the lighted side, because you will make him aware that this is the way to get respect, this is the way to be honored. And you will prevent him from doing anything that makes him fall down in people's eyes.

many tender, delicate mothers, seem to think that to make their children eat, is all that is requisite to make them great.

I think too often in our society parents, who may have good impulses, overreach and try to mold and shape and direct their child.