Laurence Sterne Quotes

A teetotaller is one who suffers from thirst instead of enjoying it.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

We have drunk too much of your rum already, which has occasioned our destruction; we will, in the future, beware of it.

My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.

I never stood in a public house bar and alcoholic drink never touched my lips.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

I can go eight days without a drink—but who wants to be a camel.

I promise ... to abstain from all kinds of intoxicating drink, unless used medically.

Abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.

I am not a member of any temperance society; but I am temperate, in this, that I don’t drink anything.

Since the creation of the world there has been no tyrant like Intemperance, and no slaves so cruelly treated as his.

I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man.

I don't drink at all.

I won't touch alcohol.

I've never had a sip of alcohol.

I didn't drink for two years.

Moderation is essential in all things, madam, but never in my life have I failed to beat a teetotaller.

Of my merit On that pint you yourself may jedge: All is, I never drink no sperit, Nor I haint never signed no pledge.

No doubt alcohol, tobacco, and so forth, are things that a saint must avoid; but sainthood is also a thing that human beings must avoid.

I'm tied of hearing about temperance instead of abstinence, in order to please the cocktail crowd in church congregations.

I would fain keep sober always; and there are infinite degrees of drunkenness.

All the mistakes I've ever made in my life have been when I've been drunk. I haven't made hardly any mistakes sober, ever, ever.

I am too much of a control freak to be a drinker.

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.