Ivan Turgenev Quotes

Irreverence is an essential part of our culture.

Everything needs to be lampooned. I believe that there's not any sacred ground.

When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us to it.

The only reason I'd bring a Bible out here is if I needed toilet paper.

The most serious parody I have ever heard was this: In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.

Built God a church and laughed His word to scorn.

You are not my high school crush, idiot.” “Great. I can die happy, then.

He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, "To get practice in being refused."

Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian.

In a calm, clear voice, she suggested that the wyrsa in question could do several highly improbable, athletically difficult and possibly biologically impractical things involving its own mother, a few household implements, and a dead fish.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

My major hobby is teasing people who take themselves and the quality of their knowledge too seriously and those who don't have the guts to sometimes say: I don't know.

Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?

I've met a few people who were passive-aggressive, but I've never met anyone who was aggressive-passive. I don't want tacos! Maybe.

We need more fruitcakes in this world, and less bakers!

What are you, Zen Master Fang?

Bashful=Spanish, Miss Gardenia Doc=Psychology, Mr. Wang Happy=Chemistry 2, Mr. Durbin Dopey=English Lit., Mr. Purcell Dippy=Math, Mrs. Craig Dumbass=PE, Coach Crater

When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.

He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.

Well chaps first I'd like to say a few vile things more or less at random, not only because it is expected of me but also because I enjoy it.

You could say that to the pope. I want to talk to you about Jesus. He'd be like, easy, freak.

Mrs. Teasdale calls for rescue and Firefly delivers the famous line to his cohorts as they rescue her: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."

I've got this brilliant thing where I go, 'I'm Robbie Williams', and people are interested in what I want to say - which is amazing because I'm just an idiot from Stoke-on-Trent.

You make us look bad', complained Toad. 'You looked bad before I ever met you', Jon told him.

I think it's very funny that someone would exaggerate to make himself look worse.