Dorothy Parker Quotes

Martinis are glamorous but also so simple because they only have a few ingredients, and you can really taste the vodka.

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.

Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

There is held to be no surer test of civilization than the increase per head of the consumption of alcohol and tobacco. Yet alcohol and tobacco are recognizable poisons, so that their consumption has only to be carried far enough to destroy civilization altogether.

I didn't drink for two years.

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

'Tis not the eating, nor 'tis not the drinking that is to be blamed, but the excess.

something has been said for sobriety but very little.

Shaken and not stirred.

Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

Someone ought to get Haymitch a drink.

I would fain keep sober always; and there are infinite degrees of drunkenness.

If I have to be a monotheist, y'know pick one, I'm picking vodka, it goes well with everything, all occasions.

We miss a lot in life because we don't know when to quit, what to leave out.

If I was drunk, I wouldn’t be here at all. And really, this is pretty good for four White Russians.” “White what?” I almost sat down but was afraid the chair might dematerialize beneath me. “It’s a drink,” he said. “You’d think I wouldn’t be into something named that—you know, considering my own personal experience with Russians. But they’re surprisingly delicious. The drinks, not real Russians.

Step not beyond the beam of the balance.

Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough

I like my wine and vodka, but that doesn't mean I fall about drunk. I know my limits.

This is an excellent martini — sort of tastes like it isn't there at all, just a cold cloud.

Tequila is my salmon.

We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin; the second is knowing when to stop.