Michael McIntyre Quotes

I'd never experienced stress before I did stand-up, and it was a massive shock to my system, this thing of waking up, and the nerves of, 'You're on stage tonight.'

Live performance really terrifies me. I haven't done it, really, in years. I think that's why I retired from my brief career in stand-up.

Reading a piece of poetry with no beat in front of 20 people is way more challenging than rocking for 10,000 people.

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

I hate every moment of live performance.

I've never been good at playing live in front of people.

I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.

My greatest fear is speaking in public.

But even so, I still get nervous before I go onstage.

Performing was terrifying.

I get nervous every time, for every single performance, before getting up on that stage.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went on stage and I lost it.

I used to be afraid of looking at the audience.

Confronting a stadium audience, you can't see the whites of their eyes. It's just an amorphous mass of noise and, of course, you can't see the alleged billions watching at home either, so the degree to which you are intimidated is quite low.

I do have the odd dream where I'm on stage and I've completely forgotten what I'm meant to be performing - so they are more nightmares than dreams.

Ninety percent of people's nightmares is standing in front of 1,000 people. Did you know that? And having to speak. You would have thought it would have been a madman tying you up and taking your eyes out.

I get nervous even guesting on other people's shows.

I nearly die of fear before I go on stage. Something wicked. I can't eat a thing the day before a gig.

I was probably more scared of my high school exams than I was of the Oscars. At the time you think it's everything and if you don't do well, your life's over. Opportunities are gone. So the more you do it, the less the fear is present.

The red carpet is really the only thing that makes me nervous.

I'm scared of audiences.

I get stage fright and gremlins in my head saying: 'You're going to forget your lines'.

My first performance was in AP Calculus when they forced me up into the front of the classroom and made me sing a song, which was really scary, but it was fun.

I am always scared before going on stage; this is the fear which makes me do well.