Chris Gethard Quotes

Three days in a city now and I'm quite flipped. There's too much noise. I just can't do with it.

Anyone who lives in N.Y.C. will tell you that getting into a confrontation on a city street is a complete nightmare 100 percent of the time.

New York can be a tad stressful.

Overcrowding in the cities is producing a collective madness in which irrational violence flourishes because man needs more space in which to be than the modern city allows.

I don't see how you could get used to people screaming in your face, and anyone who says different is lying.

When I was a kid, my mom used to run the vacuum cleaner, and the noise would bother me so much that I would run into the woods to calm down. I feel like that vacuum cleaner has been on since I moved to New York City.

I don't do really well in cities, which is crazy given that we're flying in and out of these major cities every week.

If it were up to me, I'd be fighting chumps.

Living in a city is stressful absent terrorism.

To live in a city is to be forever flinching.

I'm affected by my environment. Los Angeles makes me defensive and wary.

People in towns are always preoccupied. 'Have I missed the bus? Have I forgotten the potatoes? Can I get across the road?

It’s lovely,” I said, taking an involuntary half step back. “Really, though. I don’t like to handle other people’s cookware.” “That’s the best you can manage? That’s your bright, bold lie?” “Look, lady, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had somebody corner me on a dark street and try to hand me a frying pan before,” I snapped.

Self-consciousness is the curse of the city and all that sophistication implies.

Cities really are mental conditions. Beijing is a nightmare. A constant nightmare.

Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.

I got reckless baby, put you in your place. Next time, maybe rearrange your face.

I am not here to pass civilities or compliments with you, but on other business. I have stood your meanness as long as I intend to. You have played the part of a damned scoundrel, and are a coward, and if you were any part of a man I would slap your jaws and force you to resent it. You may as well not issue any more orders to me, for I will not obey them... and as I say to you that if you ever again try to interfere with me or cross my path it will be at the peril of your life.

The most outrageous thing happened years ago in my YouTube days, when I asked an older lady - it was like a sexually flavored question and she just slapped me full-on across the face. That's the one time someone got physically aggressive with me. And it hurt.

For in that city [New York] there is neurosis in the air which the inhabitants mistake for energy.

But instead of taking the cue to leave, Patch crossed to Scott in three steps. He flung him around to face the wall. Scott tried to get his bearings, but Patch slammed him against the wall again, disorienting him further. “Touch her,” he said in Scott’s ear, his voice low and threatening, “and it’ll be the biggest regret of your life.” Before leaving, Patch flicked his eyes once in my direction. “He’s not worth it.” He paused. “And neither am I.

I always seem to suffer some loss of faith on entering cities.

I'm laying out my winter clothes and wishing I was gone, Going home, where the new york city winters aren't bleedin' me.

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

But she wished she had had the guts to go up to him and say hello. Or possibly break his legs, she wasn't sure which.