Dave Barry Quotes

I did all my heavy partying before I turned sixteen.

I got up to all sorts of things when I was a kid, but I've managed to take the excessive alcohol and fast vehicle combination out of my life now.

I was just a lot smarter about not getting caught. I mean, I never stuck anything in my arm, but I certainly enjoyed my youth.

If I had been living through the '80s, I probably would've gotten into a lot more trouble than my parents.

Oh yeah, the preacher's kid has to be the baddest one. If everyone is smoking weed, we've got to smoke crack. If you're throwing rocks, we've got to throw bigger rocks

I don't want to get high with my kids, because then everything is different forever. That's so stupid, I think.

I am not a preacher. I don't want to stand on a soapbox and tell people, "Don't drink. Don't use drugs." With my kids, I say "Don't drink. Don't do drugs." But when they turn 21, they can drink. I hope they never use drugs, but people make their own decisions. When they're old enough, they are going to have the chance to make their own decisions. I just hope I have given them enough love and support, and the ability to come and talk to me if they need to.

I spent most of the eighties, most of my life, riding around in somebody else's car, in possession of, or ingested of, something illegal, on my way from something illegal to something illegal with many illegal things happening all around me

I work to raise awareness of the dangers of drinking and driving and substance abuse, primarily with youth.

No one can fathom that the top 200 pro street skaters run from cops on the weekends and use a generator and lights to light up a handrail at 2 in the morning to get a trick that's going to be in an advertisement that will be shown around the world.

Me: "If you want me to be a teenager, don't send me to Support Group. Buy me a fake ID so I can go to clubs, drink vodka, and take pot." Mom: "You don't take pot, for starters." Me: "See, that's the kind of thing I'd know if you got me a fake ID.

I am a raging alcoholic, but I don't want my kids to do the same.

I've borne these two kids into a particularly strange circumstance. They are going to have to fend off a lot and protect themselves from a lot of projections and prejudice about who they are, coming from the family that they come from.

It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.

I wouldn't answer the marijuana questions. You know why? Because I don't want some little kid doing what I tried.

If I talk about the bad old days of crystal meth for too long, I start getting like, "Oh...speed...that was delicious..." But in general, I don't so much. Or wait - maybe the recklessness just occurs in a different sphere so it doesn't look like bottoming out. But really - isn't trying to have a baby sort of a reckless thing to do?

Kids who drink alcohol, fairly regularly before they're 14 have a 48% chance... of becoming alcoholics.

I have a lot of friends who come from alcoholic families, and they aren't alcoholics, because someone explained it to them. When I was in Washington DC, they really talked about the difference statistically between families that talk about drug addiction and ones that don't. The kids that can say "I see where this is going" have a much better chance of not becoming addicts, because they have been educated.

Don't do drugs, kids. Stay in school.

When I was a child I accidentally made a chemical bomb. I also ate my grandfather's heart pills. I got my stomach pumped for that one. I got over that so by the time I hit my teens I was kind of mild. Now I'm like an old lady who occasionally parties real hard.

I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!

I am so sick of you smart kids. Why can't you just boost cars or steal stuff like normal kids?' 'We do steal stuff. Just bigger stuff.

I'm actually not in favour of decriminalizing cannabis - I'm in favour of legalizing it. Tax and regulate. It's one of the only ways to keep it out of the hands of our kids because the current war on drugs, the current model isn't working.

I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of.