Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Quotes

Then she wished, more rationally, that she could love him without needing him. Need gave him power without his trying; need was the choicelessness she often felt around him.

When someone fears losing your affection, he or she will strive to keep it. Perhaps you have strived to keep someone's affection, too. Fear of loss is not love.

Those who love to be feared fear to be loved.

When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me." That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.

I wish I were worthy of his love. (Any love.)I should tell him to run. But I can't. I need him.

If you love people, they kill you. If you need people, they kill you. They do I tell you!

That's how disagreements always ended with Hugh Hefner; he would just stomp off, and you were left to pick the pieces of your self-worth up off the floor. I'd invested every part of myself in the mansion and had nothing waiting for me outside those gates. I felt so trapped and so vulnerable to his criticisms.

Let me love you, but don't love me back. Do love me and let me hate you for a while. Let me feel like I have some control, because I know I never do.

I have given my all Funny how you could always make me feel small

As soon as we find ourselves working at being indispensable, rigging up a pattern of vulnerability in our loved ones, we know that our love has taken the socially sanctioned form of egotism.

People will use you as long as you let them.

If you keep it," Daneca says, "he'll have his claws in you." Everyone has their claws in me. Everyone.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Most people are embarrassed to admit there's another human being that's in control of them, that your heart beats three times as fast because you've given yourself to someone else.

If you're thinking like that - 'Does this person want me for me?' - then you're gonna have a hell of a hard time falling in love, 'cause you're constantly thinking about what they look like on paper.

Love is the use one makes of another.

Power can do everything but the most important thing: it cannot control love.

And let her think I don't care she's with you? No can do. She needs to know what I want

Can you make yourself love? Can you make yourself loved? -Lena Kaligaris

Don't correct me, you don't have any rights over me." "What kind of life is this? So I sit at home , entirely dependent on this man, and then it turns out his heart was never with me. How is it possible to force someone to love me?

She said that by introducing me to all these great things, Mary Elizabeth gained a “superior position” that she wouldn’t need if she was confident about herself. She also said that people who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don’t, nothing will work out the way they want.

It was very exciting for her, taking his dignity away in the name of love.

I sometimes think love consists precisely of the voluntary gift by the loved object of the right to tyrannize over it.

Being attached to someone is not about the other person. It is about your own sense of inadequacy.