Mark Twain Quotes

I hate clutter.

Thanks to my computer, I have now achieved a much higher state of disorganization.

Humor is reason gone mad.

To say that I am organized is an understatement, but my car tells a different story.

I'm a cowboy who never saw a cow.

I don't like to see mess.

A joke is a joke or the image of a truth.

Clutter and mess show us that life is being lived.

I hate clutter. I can't stand it.

Irony gives us, at little expense, the impression that we are experienced psychologists.

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It's really funny.

I think laughter comes because things are hardly working.

Aimwell: Then you understand Latin, Mr. Bonniface? Bonniface: Not I, Sir, as the saying is, but he talks it so very fast that I'm sure it must be good.

To be looked upon as a fool by an idiot is a true connoisseur's delight.

It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense

I like both slapstick and contradiction. Like philosophers.

I dont like quotes. You can quote me on that.

It's a dangerous game that comedy plays. Sometimes it tells you the truth; sometimes it delays it.

I am a fool, I know it; and yet, Heaven help me, I'm poor enough to be a wit.

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor.

America is such a paradoxical society, hypocritically paradoxical, that if you don't have some humor, you'll crack up.

What would we do without irony? Check out your own daily reliance on it, the foul-weather friend who's there for you when nothing else is.

Perfectionism means that you try not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived.