Caleb Carr Quotes

I don't deal with death very well. My brother, John Candy, my dad, my mom, Brandon Tartikoff just a couple of weeks ago. I mean, you lose a lot of people in your life, and that's one thing I am constantly working on - pain management.

My mom died of cancer when I was really young. I'm not someone who tries to work out their own stuff with a role, but I think that happened despite my best efforts to keep myself separate from it.

No one can tell you what to expect or can offer a guide to grief. Because every relationship is so unique, no two people grieve the same way. And you have no idea how you are going to grieve till you are grieving.

So often, when somebody dies in the family, whether a child or a parent, there is no one to lean on. When something like that happens, you go into a shell, but on the other hand, it's a really good thing to talk it over and say how you feel.

First of all, a lot of people, a lot of women and men, have lost their children. I'm not the only one. But I happen to be blessed that my son gave me all these things to work with so that I get to work out my grief in a way that other people are not able to. So I can't possibly be downtrodden about that.

I know when my parents passed away, I wanted all the support I could get.

It's something I'd never wish anybody to have to go through, having a mother pass away at a young age. But it's made me realize that people need help.

But there is a discomfort that surrounds grief. It makes even the most well-intentioned people unsure of what to say. And so many of the freshly bereaved end up feeling even more alone.

When my wife passed, I stopped doing interviews and I stopped doing meet-and-greets, mostly because I sort of became this suicide ambassador. Everybody wanted to tell me their story.

There's a general impulse to distract the grieving person - as if you could.

My father died of brain cancer in 1991. I do not know anyone whose life has not been touched by the loss of a loved one to cancer. I wrote my book 'Gracefully Gone' about my father's fight and my struggle growing up with an ill parent. I wrote it to help others know they are not alone in this all-too-often insurmountable war against cancer.

Since Michael died I think I've worked constantly. Friends and colleagues are very sustaining. They're the people who get you through it... It's no good to be on your own.

My dad passed away before my freshman year, and it altered how I thought. I was depressed - I didn't hang out with my friends. I worked through it by dancing.

I think when you suffer a tremendous loss, everybody needs love and support in tangible ways. And that's what people have done for us.

People in grief need someone to walk with them without judging them.

When Christopher and Charles passed away, I was completely depressed, I felt rejected and real down, and so Roscoe invited me because he had this spirit of compassion, and we had gone to school together, were friends and everything.

I have suffered most of the things I write about - or my friends have.

I lost three cousins and a best friend, and they all came at the wrong time. Everyone told me to be strong and that they were in a better place. But I didn't want to hear that. They were gone and I will never see them again.

If you live through the death of your child, you should be able to talk about it and let other people know it's OK to go on.

That's the number one rule after you lose someone is go to somebody else, go to the people around you, be with the people that you love.

I had a tough year, losing my dad. And I really needed to have some quiet time, and not be engaged the way I normally would be with the Lakers.

You could miss someone, but it did no good to fixate on loss. I wished I had the ready words of a Breeder or the ability to comfort with a soft touch. I didn't. Instead I had daggers and determination. That would have to do.

Care for the living. I'll weep for the dead later. - Perrin Aybara

It was hell to go through what I went through. I didn't know I had so many friends. Many people gave a damn about my situation. They helped cure me.

I know I have a very self-destructive tendency since my mother died, I have got to be honest.