Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I hate being asked how I met my husband and very personal questions like that. I don't like that. People are too nosey. Intelligent questions I like, but sometimes people ask such silly, dopey ones.

The relationships that people have - that are sexual, psychological, emotional - these relationships are not open to supervision by parents, schools, churches, or government. Nobody has any right to intervene at all in any kind of relationship like that.

I don't like being a voyeur, looking into other people's marriages.

I don't believe he had a responsibility to even answer that question - you have no responsibility to answer personal questions that people have no right to ask you.

The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business.

I find it weird that people want to know about you.

People should mind their own business. This particularly applies to those who are inquisitive, and those who jump to conclusions.

I am not too open of a person. I don't really understand why someone holding a notepad and pen thinks he can ask me anything and then is offended when I don't answer.

Anyone should have the right to say no if they don't want someone to kiss them or touch them or date them or anything.

You learn a lot about people when you're sitting on their bathroom floor or on their toilet seat, rifling through their stuff.

What's perplexing to me is that I never think it's anybody's business to know my business.

I don't like questions that delve into my personal life.

I'm still very sensitive and wary of people recognising me The only thing that really annoys me is people trying to surreptitiously take a photo on their phone without asking. I feel it's cowardly and a bit pathetic. Just ask me if you really want me to have a photograph with you.

I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason.

I don't think people should try to force their will on their family.

I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.

I don't want to speak for all people who don't have children, but maybe there's a discomfort with kids and the amount of attention they demand, by just being the age that they are.

I'd far rather leave a thought behind me than a child. Other people can have children.

You want attention, you want support, you want to be treated properly, and I don't wanna have to go anywhere and teach people how to treat me.

If people recognize me when I'm out in public, I'm very nice to them. I'm very nice to people even when they don't recognize me. I don't even mind if people come up to me while I'm eating dinner, but if they recognize me while I'm having sex, I refuse to sign autographs.

Teaching the child to treat boundaries seriously teaches the child to respect the rights and needs of others. Thinking of another's needs creates empathy.

You people are all insane. How I ended up with you, I'll never know." Breeze laughed. "Now, that's a lie, Cett. You know exactly how you ended up joining with us. We threatened to kill you if you didn't!

Don't say yes to everything. Learn how to say no, because people respect a no.

I don't really check out other people's butts.

I have to deal with being famous. Sometimes I have to tell people I don't do autographs, thank you very much. At certain places, I refuse to have my photograph taken.