Chuck Palahniuk Quotes

You discover two things when you're a teenager. One, that your parents are not the idols that you thought they were when you were growing up, if you had nice parents. And two, that you have power over them, and you can upset them and confront them and attack them.

Your being born makes your parents God. You owe them your life, and they can control you. Then puberty makes you Satan, just because you want something better.

People forget how the same children brought up with affection, effort, and love are the ones who later kick their parents.

There must always be a struggle between a father and son, while one aims at power and the other at independence.

Right now, my daughter's just rolling her eyes at everything I do; I'm just an embarrassment.

To all those mothers and fathers who are struggling with teen-agers, I say, just be patient: even though it looks like you can't do anything right for a number of years, parents become popular again when kids reach 20.

It's a sad moment, really, when parents first become a bit frightened of their children.

In terms of the frustration of my character, I suppose any teenager has probably gone through that, in terms of telling their parents, I want to do one thing, and their parent says no. I think parents sometimes forget that they were children.

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up.

When you have little girls, you're the coolest person in the world. I know at some point that's going to end; in their adolescence I'll become the opposite of that, especially if I'm parked outside a high school party.

You have to give kids something to rebel against. You can't like their music - you have to call it noise. It's incumbent on a parent.

I have four kids; three girls and a boy. The oldest girl is 13, and has her own social life now, so there's a bit of begrudging cooperation there. It's tough.

There's a thing I think children realise at a certain age, which is that if their parents say, 'Don't do it', and they go ahead and do it, they're still not going to die. And I think that's what it is: that no matter what you do, you're not going to die.

I don't know anybody that has a teenage son or daughter who at some point hasn't been like, 'God, I hate them' just under their breath. It's not meant to be literal. It's funny.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

My daughter, Anna, is almost 15, and my son, Ben, is almost 10.

Having kids certainly gets me to ask the question, 'Who is the adult here, and who is the kid?'

I can see why people keep having babies. We were looking at a school for my youngest this morning, and there were all these little boys and girls. So sweet. And then the teenagers walk past, and, my God, they're enormous, and I bet they don't kiss their mummies. I'm just going to force my children to remain lovely.

It's refreshing and weird when your kids get older and they're able to tell you how they feel and what they want.

As children, we develop some scorn for our parents and their imperfections.

A mother can legitimately be said to 'have a baby' - but in a civilization such as ours, she can never claim to own a teenager.

The first service a child doth his father is to make him foolish.

I'm waiting for my kids to grow up and get into the Offspring and look at me like I'm a total candy-ass.

I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience.