Robert Fulghum Quotes

Sometimes I'll go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook, which I don't, and as though I was going to be home for the next six days, which I won't.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

My parents were liberal intellectuals but even they expected me to stay at home and look after my younger siblings and do the housework.

You want it, you buy it, you forget it.

I don't have too much time to shop. I have such a back log of stuff at home. I tend to get temperative once in awhile. I don't need anything, so if I see something that knocks me out, then I'm buying it. It's getting harder and harder because things are getting more homogenized.

You belong with me, Scarlett, haven't you figured that out? And the world is where we belong, all of it. We're not home-and-hearth people. We're the adventurers, the buccaneers, the blockade runners. Without challenge, we're only half alive. We can go anywhere, and as long as we're together, it will belong to us. But, my pet, we'll never belong to it. That's for other people, not for us.

exemplar, n. It's always something we have to negotiate- the face that my parents are happy, and yours have never been. I have something to live up to, and if I fail, I still have a family to welcome me home. You have a storyline to rewrite, and a lack of faith that it can ever be done. You love my parents, I know. But you never get too close. You never truly believe there aren't bad secrets underneath.

A man complained that on his way home to dinner he had every day to pass through that long field of his neighbor's. I advised him to buy it, and it would never seem long again.

I don't want to be remembered. As long as my kids remember me, I'd rather be forgotten by everybody else.

I don't know what I want, but I want it NOW!

Family are the people who must make you feel ashamed when you are deserving of shame.

Never buy a thing you don't want merely because it is dear.

It's very important for me to be distinguished in my own home.

My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or a car mechanic, but I guess cops are a step up from undertakers.

I went to college on my way to be a lawyer. That's all I wanted to do was go back home and help my daddy. I thought we were poor because he was not a good businessman and I was going to become the lawyer who would take charge of the business.

Actions are remembered long after words are forgotten.

I just wish, when neither of us has written to my husband's mother, I didn't feel so much worse about it than he does.

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.

I worked for dad on the grounds and I was in high school and I said I wanted to go to college, and he said, well, you figure it out. He said I will pay for your college but you're going to go to St. Vincent. St. Vincent College right here. That's about as much as I can afford, you work here, right here at home. I said, what if I can get somewhere else? And he said if I can get there, that's your call.

If they want you to cook the dinner, at least they ought to let you shop for some of the groceries.

Most women work one shift at the office or factory and a 'second shift' at home.

That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.

Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else.

I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.

Your folks are god, you love them and you want to make them happy but you still want to make up your own rules.