Thomas Merton Quotes

If there's just one kind of folks, why can't they get along with each other? If they're all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other? Scout, I think I'm beginning to understand something. I think I'm beginning to understand why Boo Radley's stayed shut up in the house all this time. It's because he wants to stay inside.

What I tell young couples that are getting married is: you're going to have quarrels, and on some things, you're just going to have to agree to disagree. And when you go to bed at night, kiss each other and tell each other that you love each other. Don't go to bed mad. Life is too short. Keep it simple.

With guests who are 'in the middle of the fight,' we're able to hear their point-of-view on the topics, as well as advance our own feelings.

It's easy to demonize from a distance.

But when you meet with the enemy and genuinely try to understand his or her perspective, you lose the enemy as a political tool. And that's the eternal obstacle.

Hate is love without enough data.

Nobody knows what another person is thinking. They may imagine they do, but they are nearly always wrong.

A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry" is said just often enough.

I think that if we don't learn to inhabit other people's perspectives, then we're never going to understand why people do what they do.

I think we should have understanding and love and peace. I mean, peace and love has been my situation. You hear that in the song. I'm trying to promote that now: peace and love and understanding.

Never assume you know where someone else is coming from.

Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate — and quickly.

No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.

Minds are not conquered by force, but by love and high-mindedness.

We can no longer afford to worship the God of hate or bow before the altar of retaliation. The oceans of history are made turbulent by the ever-rising tides of hate. History is cluttered with the wreckage of nations and individuals that pursued this self-defeating path of hate. Love is the key to the solution of the problems of the world.

We frequently are troublesome to others, when we think it impossible for us ever to be so.

Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.

We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make.

Love and trust, in the space between what’s said and what’s heard in our life, can make all the difference in the world.

He who lives according to the guidance of reason strives as much as possible to repay the hatred, anger, or contempt of others towards himself with love or generosity. ...hatred is increased by reciprocal hatred, and, on the other hand, can be extinguished by love, so that hatred passes into love.

I've learned that sometimes love is not enough. You can have a soul mate and be madly in love with that person, but it's not necessarily enough. I think you have to have personalities that mesh well. You have to be the yin to their yang. You also have to be open to figuring things out together and communicating even when it's the last thing you want to do.

if you learn to hate one or two persons... you'll soon hate millions of people.

I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, "Please - a little less love, and a little more common decency."

Men think that it is impossible for a human being to love his enemies, for enemies are hardly able to endure the sight of one another. Well, then, shut your eyes--and your enemy looks just like your neighbor.

Some day, the world will discover that, without thought, there can be no love.