David Sedaris Quotes

It's amazing how much things can get exaggerated.

Exaggeration is my only reality.

I'm more of an exaggerator than a liar.

Exaggeration is truth that has lost its temper.

I try to refrain from the alarmist statement, really I do. It's bad for the liver and worries the dog, who has plenty enough to worry about as it is.

Charitably, you could say it was a little long. In fact, it was a lot long.

It's true, I did write - but it's probably not as dramatic as it sounds.

Truth is a hell of a big point with me. Now I exaggerate—always.

I tell the truth and I don't try to sugarcoat things. But I also decided that if you don't use humor or satire, then it's just too dark all the time. And one of my favorite literary works is A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift. As you know, that was an enormously famous satire piece that was able to point out, you know, things to people in a different way. And I do believe that satire and humor can reveal truth in a way that sometimes doesn't get revealed through other means. And so I decided to, every now and then, use satire and humor as well.

Someone once said, "I don't lie because then I don't have to remember anything." I've told white lies a lot. Sometimes when you tell stories you'll embellish them a little, especially with foxhole humor.

I love when people overexaggerate. It's so funny to me.

I'm tongue in cheek, but very much to the point.

The one thing that makes me laugh about the phrase 'the worst week of my life' is that nobody actually uses that phrase when something really bad happens.

It's a challenge to do satire when the thing you're satirizing is almost beyond satire, but I think that's a challenge for everybody.

Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.

People say, "Look, your book [Tales and Wisdom from Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle] is about tall tales." And I said, "No, you don't understand, OK? The book is tall tales, OK, by me. But look, those tall tales are my life, OK? And look, I added some spices in there. That's the five percent. You know the one about the wolves chasing me? The only thing about that - they wasn't wolves, they was coyotes".

I haven't laughed so much over anything since the hogs ate my kid brother.

I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.

Anything more than the truth would have seemed too weak.

Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.

I was raised by and have raised people who regard telling one story when two would do as a sign someone is not really trying.

I tend to basically exaggerate in life, and in writing, it's fine to exaggerate. I really enjoy overstating for the purpose of getting a laugh. For another thing, writing is easier than digging ditches. Well, actually, that's an exaggeration. It isn't.

I'll pick "I'm kidding" anytime over "I'm lying."

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion

They used to have a fish on the menu that was smoked, grilled and peppered They did everything to this fish but pistol-whip it and dress it in Bermuda shorts.