Mark Crispin Miller Quotes

If you're a preacher, you talk for a living, so even if you don't make sense, you learn to make nonsense eloquently.

Kindness. The most unkind thing of all.

An orator is the worse person to tell a plain fact.

The only thing worse than a coach or CEO who doesn't care about his people is one who pretends to care. People can spot a phony every time.

In all unmerciful actions, the worst of men pay this compliment at least to humanity, as to endeavour to wear as much of the appearance of it, as the case will well let them.

The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also a hypocrite!

All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness.

I was never able to master the virtue of humility but I was able to master the appearance of humility.

One day, I just thought, if you see a bird with a broken leg, you really have the urge to do something about it and help the bird. Then, at the same time, you go to a restaurant and eat a chicken or something. It doesn't make any sense.

Malicious lying is usually a matter of need, but often the cruelest things we say are the truth.

Do not ask me to be kind; just ask me to act as though I were.

If you want to say something and have people listen then you have to wear a mask. If you want to be honest then you have to live a lie.

Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.

Donald Trump doesn't have significant tells when he's lying because truth and lies to him are kind of homogenized. He's such a pro at it that you don't see a lot of divergence in his body language when he's lying or telling the truth. It's just constant bulls**t. He's probably a very good bluffer.

Be wise as thou art cruel, do not press My tongue-tied patience with too much disdain: Lest sorrow lend me words and words express, The manner of my pity-wanting pain.

President Reagan was a master communicator. In this particular speech he did a brilliant job moving between the stately role of U.S. President and a national eulogist. The pain of the event was etched on his face. In 4 short minutes, he addressed five different audiences. He spoke to the collective mourners, families of the fallen, NASA employees, school children, and even took a poke at Russia. He communicated comfort and patriotism within a very short timeframe. That's not easy to do.

It is a curious thing that when one speaks from the heart it is invariably in the worst of taste.

When one is innocent of pain, of the havoc it can wreak, one is never cruel. Cruelty is born of pain, of a need to hurt in turn.

Unless a man has pity he is not truly a man. If a man has not wept at the worlds pain he is only half a man, and there will always be pain in the world, knowing this does not mean that a man shall dispair. A good man will seek to take pain out of things. A foolish man will not even notice it, except in himself, and the poor unfortunate evil man will drive pain deeper into things and spread it about wherever he goes.

The knowledge beyond all other knowledge is the knowledge how to excuse.

It would be great if people never got angry at someone for doing something they've done themselves.

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept: Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man.